Have Mercy on Your Painting Contractor by Arthur Raybold

Painters often think twice before bidding on reconstruction work. Part of the reason is that not all general contractors are very well organized and some of them change their minds about the scope of work on daily basis. For example, it is not uncommon for a crew of six to appear to prepare fascia for painting only to learn that, sorry, we are removing gutters today. Come back in two days.

The main reason for hesitancy is that experienced painters know that after several trades have been around for six months or more ripping off the roof, replacing windows, tearing down porches and staircases, destroying the landscaping and generally making themselves unwelcome, along come the eager but naïve painters to beautify the patient. Homeowners are ready to vent and you are the last available target.

Also, you must consider that painters are more sensitive, more aesthetically attuned. As they ascend their ladders to make each homeowner's dwelling a palace, they are thinking of Keats' line: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." So that when maddened owners begin hurling epithets at them for no apparent reason, their feelings become damaged and they have a tendency to fall off their ladders.

This has become such a serious problem that our safety inspector, who happens to have a degree in mental health, can often be seen hugging a victimized painter, comforting him over by one of the porta-potties. Our workmen's compensation carrier has been making noises about increasing our premiums to cover mental distress.

Less stressful than reconstruction jobs are the more normal repaints, but these are not without their problems. While it is customary for painters to leave notices at the doors of homeowners, advising them when preparation and painting will occur, where to park cars to avoid overspray, why items should be removed from decks, it is not customary for homeowners to read them or even to comply if they do.

Condominium dwellers seldom have enough room in their garages for everything and so the deck or balcony area becomes an open closet. Saddest of all "accidents" occurs when a painter attempts to move A precious plant that has not been moved for a very long time-maybe ten years. As he gently lifts the top of the receptacle, the rest of the plant and pot crumples to the ground in a soft passing. Philosophically, the painter assuages his grief by thinking, "So this is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper."

Refrigerator doors fall off in your hands, barbecue grills collapse as they are nudged, bicycles and camping gear disintegrate if you stare at them too long. Whole trees have outgrown their containers and their roots are reaching into the units above and below them. Animals that have never known grass use this area for evacuation purposes and preparing one of these areas for paint is equivalent to Hercules heroic feat of cleansing the Augean stables.

Painting doors can also be a painful experience. It is best not to paint them shut so you need the homeowner to be present. If he or she is not, you need to give him or her some Saturday or Sunday options. Sometimes folks show up sometimes not. After three abortive attempts, the patient manager takes over.

The most interesting experience is to paint with an audience of one or more retired painters or contractors who advise you what you are doing wrong. I will long remember the gentleman who told the property manager we had not completed a second coat of paint on the side of a fairly large building. The homeowner would take a break from watching while the men were working, enter his unit, make himself a tuna salad sandwich, eat it and return to his painting  perch. This took about an hour.

The side of the building had been completely masked and we had been using two spray teams for the job. They had actually completed the area just about the time he returned. To satisfy the manager and the owner we took samples from five places along the wall and showed them two layers of coatings in every sample. The owner was still not convinced so we painted the wall a third time in less than an hour with the owner looking on.

Overspray on cars will happen no matter how many notices or signs you put up. All painters expect that. We experienced one lady who had to have her car detailed five times because as we moved into sections away from her area, she would clandestinely manage to sneak around barricades and place her car in harm's way. She just liked having a shiny new-looking car every week at someone else's expense.

The panacea is replace the broken plant or detail the car accompanied by a gift certificate from Nordstrom. Painters really enjoy putting the finishing touch on multi-family units, but sometimes they go home thinking these lines: "The quality of mercy is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rains from heaven."