Benign Neglect by Arthur Raybold

At a November '99 meeting of  homeowner association vendors, a marketing guru from a California bank's HOA division gave us some astute advice on how to approach association property managers or, rather, how not to approach these unique folks. He shared with us a five point program that would endear us to managers and leave our sorry competition in the dust.

Initially, I was reluctant to share this revolutionary information with my readers for fear they would jump on the bandwagon and create a situation whereby managers would be reduced to a two-day work week and become virtually invisible. But secure in the knowledge that few of us ever act on the best of advice, whether given by Jesus, Zig Ziglar or Stephen F. Covey, I hereby throw caution to the wind.

The five new habits of highly successful vendors will be:

• Do not call property managers on the telephone (They are currently receiving 50 calls/ day).
• Do not ask them out to lunch (They have not had lunch for several months).
• Do not sell them a product or service. Be knowledgeable, if fate allows you human contact.
• Be as friendly and helpful as possible in a passive sort of way.
• Be funny and provide them humorous ads (Fifty problem phone calls cry out for antidotal fun).

I couldn't wait to initiate my benign neglect program. I fired off faxes to 75 of my closest property managers, advising them that they would no longer be pestered by me for new business nor for status reports on the jobs I had bid to them nor for relaxing luncheons for which they had no time. In the interest of time management, I suggested that if they visited me at my mini-trade show booth that we refrain from asking about each other's health (How are you?) and focus on product knowledge. All I asked was that they look for my humorous ads in 7 magazines and that they look at the  hand-out picture of   me in my funny Christmas outfit instead of emoting over it (time consuming) as I am delivering the under $10.00 seasonal gift.

Recreating space ads was the most fun: surface preparation, depicting an elderly homeowner pinned against her living room wall by a jet of water from a power washing machine; consistency and speed of application with spray guns, depicting a classic Silver Cloud spray-painted a stucco pink; prevention of water penetration with elastomeric coatings, depicting an HOA building acting as a cruise ship during a hurricane; safety program, depicting a painter on a metal ladder, sliding along a metal gutter into a hot wire.

Several months have passed since this brave new approach to marketing was launched. I have only been contacted by a manager twice during that time, once for Super Bowl tickets (They have me confused with a general contractor) and once to paint some doors on a Saturday. I have received no information about new jobs except from paint manufacturers and no information with respect to status reports on outstanding bids. I had several managers accost me at a trade show, asking if we were still in business, as they had not received the "usual" calls from me. Business has fallen off dramatically, but I'm not sure I have given this new approach a fair test period.

I tried reaching the guru at his bank but was told he is on a national speaking tour, earning $5000. for each presentation. I'm glad someone is benefiting from the Benign Neglect program.